Hey world, I'm happy.

If you would have told me a month ago what direction my life would be heading in today.. I would have thought you were full of shit. I thought I'd be buying quitting the dealership, living with Rachel and Diego, getting school shit together, and spending all of my time with Jason. My, my how quickly things can change. While I'm sad about the way some things have turned out, I couldn't be happier with others.

Currently, I'm keeping the dealership job. Since I've been back from Mexico, I've actually really grown to like it. At first it was supposed to just help me with my trip. But now I need to becaaaaause...

I'm moving in with Adam and Charlie. I'm not exactly positive how it happened, honestly. But in one week it went from something casually mentioned in conversation to Adam and I apartment hunting yesterday. We've got it narrowed down and everything planned out. I couldn't be more excited. Come August 1st, our new chapter begins. I'm so stoked to be living with boys again. While it's a major cockblock for a girl, I love living with guys. Always have.

I will still be purchasing a new car before winter. It's my ultimate goal. I don't think my car can handle one more winter. So, I'm going to drive it while I save up a little bit more for a down payment and get our living situation settled.

Zupas has been entirely tedious since I've been back from Mexico. My boss can sense it so she's been trying to get me away from my normal routine. I'm still craving something new though. I know I can't risk getting a new job right when I'm planning to move out so I'm going to stick it out. But I'm pushing really hard for a new position. I'd like to be permanently on catering as a driver or coordinator. Even as a full time driver I'd be making more than I do now and I'd get to do something different daily. I'd really love a catering coordinator though. It's a great position and pays enough that I could quit the dealership if it ever became too hard to juggle both. I'm just hoping they'll let me switch soon before I get too restless.

No word from Jason. No explanation. It's not like I expected to be with him and I don't know if he understands that. I mean, I really wanted something more with him. But was waiting for him to want it too. I was starting to trust in him, but knew ultimately, even with everything we were doing, we would probably just be friends. I just thought we were going to be friends for longer this time. It seemed like we were becoming really close again. He still says stuff on facebook every once in a while, but I don't want to be just internet friends. What really bothers me about the whole situation is that he doesn't respect me or our friendship enough after six years to be upfront with me. He sent some major mixed signals. Sleeping with me three times in one day the last time I saw him gave me the strong assumption that everything between us was okay and normal. But as soon as I got back I was straight up ignored. I'm sorry, but being ignored after knowing eachother for six years is just cold. I wish he would be straightforward like he usually is and just let me know what's up. I don't care either way, I'm just so frustrated that I have no idea why he just cut me off. But I can't let myself look like a fool anymore waiting for him, I've just gotta move on. Easy come, easy go I guess. I'm getting really sick of the breaks in our friendship though. And I don't know if we'll ever be friends again this time.

I ultimately decided against going to China. While I think it's a great opportunity..I just can't do it right now. My mom is having so many problems with her health right now that I couldn't bear being thousands of miles away. I couldn't be there right away if I needed to be. I know I'm probably going to regret not going. You just don't get many opportinities like this in your life. But on the other hand, if anything were to happen and I weren't around I'd regret it even more.

I've spent a lot of time with my JAMF crew this week and it has been the biggest breath of fresh air. It's been such a long time since we've all been together but I've missed them so much. Tuesday night we partied at Craig's. Matt and James were there. Hugs from those boys make everything better and James said some of the sweetest things any friend has ever told me. Last night I went to the bar with Craig, Brandon and Angie. It was such a blast. Most fun I've had ini ages. Craig and I are...like we always are. Which I know isn't healthy. But it's just what happens. He fills some lonely void I have and doesn't expect anything serious. It just works. I'm really disappointed that Ash hasn't been around..but I can't force her. She's the one missing out on these experiences but I just don't know what else to do to get her to come around. I hoped that the cruise would bring us closer again when we got back, but it didn't work out that way. When we invite her to do things, she doesn't show. I wish she would. I miss my best friend. I have Angie. I'm so glad she's home for the summer. It's nice having her around to go to.

There is a potential bar night 2.0 tonight if I hear back from Stevie. I could use me some club 48 right about now.

Tomorrow night I'm going to see my real dad. His girlfriend invited me to a bbq. It's going to be strange because I've never met her before but we've already had a lot of really intense conversations. It's also going to be the first time in years that I've actually spent time with my dad. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm going to keep an open mind to it.

HCG on Monday. Angie is doing it with me, so hopefully having someone to struggle with will be beneficial. I'm actually looking forward to doing it. I can't wait to see the results.

Hey world, I'm happy.

Back to furniture shopping. :]